A Bright Yellow Sports Car!

Makes you look like an idiot, old man. A sports car, okay, I get it. But a bright yellow one? It screams of desperation. Please ladies notice me. Then when the money grubbers do, please everyone, notice the hot lady with me. Don’t delude yourself. We know why she’s with you.

If You Are Always Late to Everything

And everyone complains that you are always late to everything, chances are your friends are beginning to not like you very much.

Take Your Time, Jerk Face

No one is waiting.  Really. Take as much time as you need. I know it takes a lot of personal prep time to back up out of that parking spot.

Be Careful What You Believe In

It might make you look like a total idiot.

Downsizing the Office Diva

Nothing ruins the office diva’s day better than a blueberry smoothie – a subtle trip and balance catch, the cup tips – Oh! I am so sorry! Send me the dry cleaning bill.

There Are Stupid Questions. And Stupid People.

Don’t kid yourself, there most certainly are stupid questions. And they are not just asked by stupid people.  In fact, sometimes the smartest people I know ask really stupid questions, usually to get a rise out of you.

Sneaky People Talk A Lot About Trust

Sneaky people tend to be really ironic. They will talk about trust a lot. They will challenge your trustworthiness. Sneaky people are on the look out – they assume everyone is a cheating, lying, untrustworthy sack of dung. Like them.

Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut

The truth is if you feel like you’re crazy, it’s more likely someone else around you is crazy and they are pulling your chain.

Theory on Everything

I have a theory on pretty much everything.  If you’d like to hear my theory on just about anything all you have to do is ask. Sometimes you don’t even have to ask, hence the looks-like-she-just-ate-sour-lemons expression on some of my colleagues faces after an encounter with me at the water cooler/copy machine/coffee maker.